Change is the new norm for all of us. To experience a life without fast changes would now be abnormal. Yet, how well are INFJs equipped to handle it?

It isn't just simple changes that we are coping with, such as what we wear, the colour of our hair or the type of breakfast cereal we eat; the changes are far broader than that. We are all coping with rapid and complex alterations to the fundamentals of our society and how it operates.

The key aspect of change that INFJs need to pay attention to is their emotional reactions to the changes. Why? Because emotions drive behaviour. Anxiety is one of the many emotions that may arise, but so is excitement.

Change can be threatening and anxiety provoking for INFJs.

I run workshops on coping with change and focus on the emotions that develop during change. The emotions that we experience and how we react to these emotions influence how well we cope in the face of change.

How do INFJs manage the emotions that arise when a change, small or large, is going to impact on them? It will be strongly influenced by the level of emotional intelligence the INFJs have.

Not all INFJs are skilled in this area. Emotions such as anxiety, stress and feeling overwhelmed can creep up on them and take over before they see them coming. This makes it difficult for INFJs to tackle change easily.


The emotions that arise will be influenced by the types of changes that each INFJ is dealing with. Individual INFJs will adapt differently and anxiety may arise more frequently in some than others.

It might be that our old phone has died and the new one frustrates us. Or that the system we have helped develop at work is being replaced and we feel redundant. Or maybe our relationship has failed and we are having to return to dating and feel anxious about what to do.

Clearly, emotions are a pivotal part of change that INFJs need to sort through. Emotions are a source of energy. Depression and sadness are low in energy. Anxiety and excitement are high in energy. It is the ability to use the energy constructively that can make the difference between riding through change and going under.

Some INFJs are excited by change.

It's true, some INFJs have learnt how to turn their anxiety into excitement. For example, certain INFJs may get a new piece of technology and be excited about it. They are keen to work out how to use it and feel thrilled to show it to their friends and let the world know about it. Within a short period of time these INFJs have adapted to using it and become experts in it.

Other INFJs may be given the exact same new piece of technology and feel intimidated by it. They become embarrassed because they don't know how to use it and don't like to admit to it. They feel uncomfortable using it and hide it in their sock drawer and leave it there. They may then express their hatred for it and rubbish it to others.

It is not the technology that is the issue it is the emotions that are attached to the technology that influence how well people, including INFJs, adapt to change.


I met a man last week who was arguing that everyone should still have fax machines because he had one and he didn’t want to use a computer. He felt intimidated by computers. Most of us don't even know what a fax machine is!

I haven't used a fax machine for years. The difference was that this man was anxious about computers, but as an INFJ I am excited by them and by the creative possibilities they bring.

Coping with change means being able to cope with the emotions that arise in association with it and being able to change anxiety into excitement, or frustration into calm. It requires high levels of emotional intelligence, a self-development journey INFJs can embark on and benefit from.

Planet INFJ: The Book

How can you understand and manage your own emotions during change? How can INFJs do this well?

"Planet INFJ" is here to help you ride above the difficulties an INFJ faces in life and to master the emotions of change without too much anxiety. Those INFJs with change agility will be the ones to thrive. Is this you or do you need to develop more skills so you can soar through change easily?

  1. "Planet INFJ" examines different avenues of change that INFJs may encounter and provides insights into how successful INFJs have risen above the associated emotions, such as anxiety. For instance, in chapter 7, April, one of our INFJ Insight writers, explains why she doesn't hang on to the emotions she absorbs. In chapter 17, another Insight writer, Kylie, explains how she has learnt to trust her gut feelings. We can learn so much from each other and especially from successful INFJs such as these.
  2. A major change that INFJs can face is the breakdown of their relationships, both those which are intimate and romantic but also friendships which have been invested in heavily but have ceased. That is why "Planet INFJ" dedicates the whole of chapter 19 to "INFJs and our quest to find and keep good friends", and the whole of chapter 20 to "Finding romance, love and soulmates: when INFJ relationships work and fail". There is so much to share with you, don't miss out.
  3. Developing emotionally intelligent responses and reactions to change has catapulted my life into a whole new realm of success and happiness. Let's get positive change reactions underway with "Planet INFJ".


Are you troubled because you want to be an authentic INFJ but find yourself being rebuffed, ridiculed or dismissed? Are you retreating into the safety of your own private world? If so, you risk becoming isolated or lonely and your wonderful INFJ strengths and gifts being wasted. Don't let this happen to you. "Planet INFJ" will help you find the perfect balance between being understood and accepted AND being an authentic INFJ.

Authenticity is the core value of INFJs; come join us on Planet INFJ, where authenticity reigns.