There is no one right type. All 16 personality types on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) have things they are good at and others they are poor at. INFJs are no different. There are plenty of things INFJs are not good at.

INFJs have a group of strengths that are typical of most of us, and we have an equal number of bad qualities. However, we may not like to admit to our weaknesses and instead may keep our weaker features buried or hidden in the dark. Some even deny their existence, yet INFJs do have a dark side.

Sometimes an INFJ strength and a weakness are just two sides of the same coin.

INFJs may avoid conflict to create harmony.

INFJs may not be good at handling conflict and can actively avoid it. In the process, they may accidentally cause even greater conflict because instead of speaking out they may brood and become resentful, and even slip into a passive-aggressive form of INFJ behaviour.

The avoidance of conflict is an INFJ weakness. Conflict stresses us.

On the other side though, is one of our INFJ strengths - our ability to create and foster harmony, whether in the workplace, home or community. We have an overriding desire for harmony and may be successful in building it where it has previously been absent. This is a captivating strength.


Harmony is a typical need of mine. I am sensitive to the emotions associated with it and value them. Without harmony, I can't function effectively. This can be a good or a bad quality depending on how I deal with it.

For example, I chair a committee. I have made our committee meetings so enjoyable and harmonious people are happy to travel a long way to attend them.

Time flies because we don't get stuck in arguments and we laugh frequently together. At the same time, we achieve an enormous amount. When recently I announced I would be leaving, they asked if they could keep coming to my house. That is a good sign!

Is it possible for INFJs to learn how to handle conflict?

When I took over the committee it was not harmonious. There was negativity amongst committee members and conflict directed at me. I hated that and nearly resigned. It became very stressful for me.

I cried about it. I felt my resentment mounting. I felt bad inside. I became fearful of more conflict. Clearly handling and enduring conflict is a weakness of mine. A classic INFJ!

However, I am getting better at managing it. INFJs can learn to handle conflict. We can master the relevant techniques. When we move through conflict more easily, and are less stressed by it, we can find that we have created greater harmony. It is an INFJ paradox.


Another area of weakness for INFJs is the intolerance we may have for other people's poor behaviour. It is what INFJs label as "poor behaviour" and is not necessarily how others perceive it. We are not very good at allowing other people to choose how they behave without us pouring criticism on them when we disagree with what they've done.

How can we be intolerant and yet, at the same time, be renowned for our potentially high levels of empathy? It is two sides of the same coin again.

We are known to have high expectations of others and to follow strict values and standards of ethical and moral behaviour. This can be a strength of ours or a weakness. It is not a black and white boundary.

Can INFJs learn to be more tolerant?

INFJs can develop greater tolerance, if they want to. It can reduce their stress-loads if they do.

Becoming more tolerant takes self-awareness, effort and knowledge of the best techniques to use. I am far more tolerant than I used to be. I have increased my success at following the dictum, "Live and let live".

A simple example will explain what may happen. An INFJ may hold dear a value around helping people with a disability. While pushing a person in a wheelchair the INFJ may meet someone who is ignorant of people with a disability and who talks down to them. The INFJ may label this person as an idiot and complain bitterly about them. They are given the cold shoulder instead of forgiveness. This is one of our weaknesses.

Planet INFJ: The Book

How many weaknesses does an INFJ have and how can we improve?

"Planet INFJ" gives a balanced perspective of INFJs and covers both our strengths and weaknesses in far greater depth than mentioned here. I haven't even begun to list many of the things we aren't good at. If we are to become all that we can be, the INFJ's motto, we need to understand all our many qualities, not just the good ones. Planet INFJ will give you a balanced perspective on INFJs in an inspiring way.

  1. Conflict is a huge source of stress and tension for INFJs. "Planet INFJ" takes an in-depth look at stress in INFJs and devotes an entire chapter to the topic called "Understanding what makes an INFJ stressed, and why". It provides information on our stress triggers as well as proven techniques to reduce stress which are known to work for INFJs. Let "Planet INFJ" help you lower your stress levels so that conflict becomes less scary and easier to handle.
  2. "Planet INFJ" also addresses our levels of intolerance. For example, sometimes as Introverts we can be put off by the Extraverts communication style. Is this you? If so, you may enjoy the contribution by Tim, one of the INFJ Insight writers, on how to be trapped with Extravert buddies without going bonkers! There are many ways to build greater tolerance and contentment, this is only one of many examples in the book.
  3. Being a successful INFJ requires us to have the courage to look at all our weirdest and wonderfulness parts, then we can truly become our best selves.


Are you troubled because you want to be an authentic INFJ but find yourself being rebuffed, ridiculed or dismissed? Are you retreating into the safety of your own private world? If so, you risk becoming isolated or lonely and your wonderful INFJ strengths and gifts being wasted. Don't let this happen to you. "Planet INFJ" will help you find the perfect balance between being understood and accepted AND being an authentic INFJ.

Authenticity is the core value of INFJs; come join us on Planet INFJ, where authenticity reigns.