Much has been written about how hard it is for INFJs to have a happy marriage or to find a life partner with whom they feel deep and lasting contentment.

This gives the wrong impression about INFJs. I am an INFJ. I am happily married. I have been married to the same man for many years and I am still in love.

It is important to maintain a balanced perspective on our potential to have a happy and fulfilling marriage or partnership and to be loved, accepted and understood.

Why do people suggest INFJs find it hard to find the perfect partner?

I wonder if the people who write about failed and unhappy relationships and the inevitability of this for INFJs are those who have had failed relationships.

Maybe those of us who are happy and have an enduring companionship don't bother to let everyone know, we are too busy being together and in love!


I don't know of any statistical data that has been collected on the frequency with which INFJs get divorced.

Nor has there been, to my knowledge, any comparative studies across all the types to indicate that one personality type gets divorced more than another.

Instead divorce rates are high in many countries, including the USA, Australia and Great Britain.

What hope is there for an INFJ marriage?

If you are longing to have a happy marriage it is important that you don't believe the hearsay or that the failure rate applies to you. INFJs can have a happy marriage with a soulmate, believe that for yourself.

A happy marriage depends on many things and a great deal of it falls under your control. Asking yourself the right questions and reflecting on your own behaviours, thoughts and values is a great place to begin.

For example, have you picked the right person? Have you applied your type knowledge to your relationship? Are you tolerant enough? Are you willing to openly share your feelings? Do you communicate clearly? Have you plunged into INFJ hinting? Do you have expectations of a perfect partner which no human can achieve? Are you working to stay positive or are you letting little niggles become enormous mountains of discontent?

Planet INFJ: The Book

What can INFJs do to find and sustain a happy marriage?

"Planet INFJ" provides the evidence that a happy marriage and a contented life-long partnership with a soulmate are possible. We have the INFJ proof for you. We know it can happen as it has happened to us, and you are one of us.

  1. "Planet INFJ" aims to inspire INFJs, the world over, to develop loving, romantic and deeply satisfying marriages or relationships and for the long-term. The book includes a whole chapter devoted to the topic of finding romance, love and soulmates and explaining how INFJ relationships work and fail. The clues to look for, the methods to adopt and the ways to nurture love, are included to help INFJ relationships blossom.
  2. "Planet INFJ" includes a real love story about a happy INFJ marriage, written by the spouse of one of the "Planet INFJ" writers. He has given his piece the title, "I'm not an INFJ but I am happily married to one". It will provide evidence that INFJs can be blissfully married to another personality type and that any difficulties that arise can be overcome. It's a true love story, make it yours.
  3. INFJs can make ideal partners and with the right knowledge and techniques can safeguard their relationships from attack so that love lingers long. Cupid is still alive and well on Planet INFJ.


Are you troubled because you want to be an authentic INFJ but find yourself being rebuffed, ridiculed or dismissed? Are you retreating into the safety of your own private world? If so, you risk becoming isolated or lonely and your wonderful INFJ strengths and gifts being wasted. Don't let this happen to you. "Planet INFJ" will help you find the perfect balance between being understood and accepted AND being an authentic INFJ.

Authenticity is the core value of INFJs; come join us on Planet INFJ, where authenticity reigns.