» PROBLEMS WHICH GET IN THE WAY OF MOST INFJS BEING 100% AUTHENTIC.
INFJs are idealists and want to be their authentic selves. They strive to be the best they can be and to be true to their intuition, soul and values.
Me too. The golden crown of my INFJ personality is authenticity. It is my essence through which I judge myself and others. When I am recruiting new staff I look first for people with good hearts and only secondly, for their skill set. How INFJ!
When an INFJ is not authentic, the INFJ is false.
If I were not an authentic INFJ I would wither inside. I would have failed myself and become false. I know no INFJ who wants to be false, in fact, usually we can detect con artists and liars, and we avoid them.
When I honour my true self, and others match my aspirations, I flow with bubbling, clear energy. If I become false or those around me are shams, my energy becomes soiled and turbid.
But how does an INFJ resist the temptation to follow the prevailing norm of the more usual personality types, where the core values may centre around competence, efficiency or exactness, especially in the workplace?
» THE INFJ PROBLEM: WHEN CAN AUTHENTICITY LEAVE US OPEN TO RIDICULE?
When INFJs show their true, authentic selves it can lead to ridicule from others, especially in a work environment dominated by other types such as Sensate Thinkers (STs) and Intuitive Thinkers (NTs).
Only yesterday, I was having an important meeting in my consultancy business with a key stakeholder, someone who was employing me to work not only with his executive team but across his organisation.
My INFJ ideas and opinions were invalidated and dismissed.
I am passionate about the importance of emotions and the way they drive people's behaviour and strongly promote the value of their being acknowledged and managed in the workplace. I explained this to his team, as part of a program to develop their emotional intelligence.
He made jokes out of my key content and trivialised my message. He took the hand of one of his executive team and said, in a soft, seductive tone "How are you feeling John?" There was laughter. I was struck down and my point undermined.
» THE INFJ DILEMMA: WHY WE NEED TO BE CAREFUL ABOUT REVEALING OUR TRUE SELVES.
As an INFJ, why would I reveal my true self to this person? INFJs need to protect themselves from being dismissed or opening themselves up to ridicule or sarcasm.
I talk more about authenticity in "Planet INFJ". I include examples of when I've needed to monitor myself and adapt to the prevailing wind conditions. I also have examples of when I've failed to do this, have stuck to my INFJ principles and endured catastrophic career and financial consequences.
Being an authentic INFJ may halt my career.
Being authentic isn't always easy or simple and may not always be wise, especially when we want to develop our careers. If we disclose our ideas and observations and the people at work think they are ridiculous, why would they promote us?
» AN AUTHENTIC INFJ GOES TO A JOB INTERVIEW AND SAYS WHAT? THE TRUTH OR WHAT THE PANEL WANTS TO HEAR?
I will not accept a job that contravenes my own INFJ high standards of ethical behaviour. However, this is easier to write than follow. We still have to earn a living and put food on the table.
I once lost a job because I told the panel they had taken the wrong approach to solving their problem. True to being an authentic INFJ, I explained they needed to factor in the impact of their decision on their people if they wanted to get the best buy-in. They were not impressed and I lost out.
» RARE INFJS: HOW CAN BEING IN THE MINORITY IMPACT ON OUR AUTHENTICITY?
INFJs are one of the rarest types and our way of using introverted Intuition (Ni) as our dominant can fail to be accepted, understood and trusted by others, even if we are right.
Also, our ability to use extraverted Feeling (Fe) as our auxiliary, to read what is going on in others, can leave us open to ridicule when others don't observe the same things we do.
How can an INFJ be authentic in a world that rejects them?
Many INFJs face rejection or trivialising of their ideas, observations and values. The question is, how can we be authentic despite this?
Planet INFJ: The Book
"Planet INFJ" will guide INFJs, the world over, to be their more authentic selves.
- If you are finding it hard to understand your deeply authentic self, "Planet INFJ" reveals the defining features of an authentic INFJ. Even in the introduction the importance of INFJ authenticity is centre stage. Page 8, for example states: "In Planet INFJ … we illuminate our shared deep worth and how it is possible to live honestly and authentically as ourselves, instead of how others in interplanetary space expect us to be".
- If you find your individual identity sucked out when other types insist that you follow their expectations and standards, "Planet INFJ" includes expert commentary from a group of INFJs who have courageously tackled their need for authenticity head on and won. Jeremy, in Chapter 16, for example, describes how he felt like a fish out of water and then, he changed it all with one simple step.
» HOW CAN YOU FIND YOUR AUTHENTICITY SO IT DOESN'T GET LOST IN THE WORLD OF OTHER TYPES?
Authenticity is the core value of INFJs; come join us on Planet INFJ, where authenticity reigns.