» HOW TO BE A WELL-BALANCED, MATURE AND HAPPY INFJ.
When all we read is of the INFJ problems we're supposed have, our hearts can sink. It's sad that the unhealthy INFJs gain most of the media attention and not the happy, healthy ones.
I have proof that well developed, emotionally mature, intellectually intelligent and emotionally intelligent INFJs are flourishing in our society.
How would we recognise such a healthy, balanced INFJ? How would we know if we were one or not?
Am I a mature, healthy and well-developed INFJ?
I personally know at least a dozen INFJs and all are functioning normally, in fact, some are highly skilled emotionally and intellectually, and match or rise above the other types.
The Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is the model from which the INFJ personality type is derived. Most people know this, but what many have missed is that the MBTI has a maturation model which describes the way that each type, including the INFJ, develops over a lifetime. There are four stages involved. It means that a younger INFJ will not be the same as an older INFJ.
The maturation model is very significant. It can act as a guide to our healthy INFJ development. I find the maturation process fascinating and have studied each stage to gain greater self-understanding and been thrilled with what I've learnt. It provides an important point of reflection for our own lives.
» A SERIOUS INFJ OR ONE WITH A WICKED WIT? WHICH IS THE HEALTHY ONE?
One behaviour you may repeatedly see or hear in a well-developed INFJ is laughter. INFJs are known for their wit. They can love to make others laugh and can laugh easily themselves. I am an INFJ and I delight in making people laugh and have crafted a career out of it.
INFJs can also engage people and be very skilled at doing so. We have extraverted Feeling (Fe) as our Auxiliary function and may be able to walk into a room, quickly assess what is happening and adapt accordingly.
I am sure my Extravert friends think I am an Extravert as when I am with them I can pick up their pace of social engagement and laugh a lot as they do, and even get them laughing. I match to their style. They don't see me going home afterwards to collapse in the lounge chair begging for solitude!
Networking skills and the INFJ style.
The ideas that INFJs can't be engaging with people, can't be successful networkers or will avoid all social engagement are myths. My career proves that beyond doubt.
Some years ago, I began running courses on networking skills. I developed a very popular set of recordings on "The Art of Chat" and then "Having Something to Say" and taught others how to engage in social conversation. Yes, I am an INFJ! The networking skills course became my most popular workshop.
INFJs can do far more than we are generally given credit for. What is it you are not doing because you thought your INFJ personality type couldn't do it? Maybe you can do it, after all?
» AN INFJ WITH EMPATHY AND COMPASSION OR A HARD-WORKING AND COLD INFJ?
INFJs can be cold, clumsy, demanding and get entangled in others' emotions when they are stressed. In contrast, a highly-skilled, highly developed and mature INFJ can, in most situations, care and be compassionate without catching other peoples' emotions.
For example, I was a crisis counsellor for five years and listened for hours to people who were depressed and suicidal. I could care and stop callers from taking their lives, but then go home without carrying the stress with me. I did not feel depressed or agitated. I cared with compassion and stayed emotionally well.
Even though the full treachery of life was laid out in front of me, each day, I did not get stuck in the callers' emotions. It's a sign of a healthy INFJ.
Planet INFJ: The Book
Want to become a healthier, happier and more balanced INFJ?
My dream is that all INFJs can develop satisfying, well-balanced and mature lives which bring them deep contentment and that "Planet INFJ" will guide them to this wonderful place.
- "Planet INFJ" is here to inspire INFJs, the world over, to know what their potential is and to take the steps and stages to achieve it. The whole of Chapter 21, for example, is dedicated to the four stages of the INFJ maturation model and how a healthy INFJ matures and develops. This information is unique. You'll be given a penetrating look inside the life of an INFJ as she matures across her life-span, so you can reflect on your own life and identify the next steps in your development. You won't find it anywhere else.
- A sense of humour is an important part of being a happy, healthy INFJ. That is why "Planet INFJ" dedicates a whole chapter to describing it. Chapter 9 is on "Understanding our INFJ sense of humour - do we have a quick wit?" It explains how INFJs can make people laugh, the importance of laughter in the lives of well-balanced INFJs, and how a healthy, mature INFJ can use humour to get through difficulties. This chapter is an important counter-balance to the gloomy stories about the problems INFJs are supposed to have, and an opening to real laughter in your life.
» INFJs CAN BE HEALTHY, SUCCESSFUL AND WELL-BALANCED. WE ARE NOT ALL THE WEIRDOS OR ALIENS PORTRAYED IN THE MEDIA.
Authenticity is the core value of INFJs; come join us on Planet INFJ, where authenticity reigns.